365 day music challenge
Day 29: A song that makes you sad
Elliott Smith - Pitseleh
"I’ll tell you why I don’t want to know where you are
I got a joke I’ve been dying to tell you”
For me, this is about a girl I wanted to confide in. I thought I was in love with this girl at one point, and I think she still thinks I am. I just want her to be there for me now. But I’m hesistant to talk to her about what I almost did, because I’m afraid she’ll never see me the same way again.
"I’m not what’s missing from your life now
I could never be the puzzle pieces”
I’ve got too many issues I’m dealing with right now, and I know this girl doesn’t deserve to have to deal with that. I wish I could have been what she needed though, because she was what I needed.
"They say that god makes problems, just to see what you can stand
Before you do as the devil pleases”
This feels too true, and I almost lost it here when I first heard it, right around the time I contemplated suicide. Things were getting too hard to deal with, and I just felt like giving in to the pressure and giving up.
And this next part is from my post with the a cappella version of this song that I sang.
"The first time I saw you, I knew it would never last
I’m not half what I wish I was
I’m so angry, I don’t think it’ll ever pass
And I was bad news for you, just because
I never meant to hurt you”
I had this happen to me with a girl I liked this past semester. When I decided to ask her out, I wasn’t overly optimistic. I knew it probably wouldn’t go past the summer, since I’m moving away for college, but I liked her. Our first date went well, or so I thought. She was cool for a couple days after the date, then she just wouldn’t talk to me. I got angry when she started ignoring me, I didn’t think I did anything wrong, I was nice to her the whole time. I had heard she had problems with past relationships, so I tried to show her that I wasn’t going to hurt her or use her. I think she thought I was getting clingy, when I just wanted her to know I wasn’t like the people in her past. I really cared, and I think in the end, that hurt her.